Friday, December 9, 2011

Is It My Job to Look Good?

I was in the gym the other day working out. Yes, you heard that right...I was working out.  I've been there every day since I got permission from my surgeon to go back.  Woohoo!

Anyway...I was on the treadmill watching the tv on the wall in front of me and certain reality tv star came on the screen.  Now, I'm not a big reality tv fan or a big reality tv hater.  I could take it or leave it.  Whatever.  So, this girl woman comes on the screen and I think, "She's hot.  I wish I could look like that.  I'll never look like that.  I bet she works out all the time.  I bet she gets paid to workout so that she keeps up her image.  I bet her personal assistant has her workouts scheduled into her day and it's just part of her job."  So, I'm on the treadmill thinking through my jealousy of this woman's body and how she has no excuses because it's her job to look that way, blah blah blah blah.

Eventually I got passed thinking about her and started thinking about myself.  I have a job.  I'm a stay at home mom to 4 crazy sons and I'm a wife to an amazing rock star husband.  And I wondered, "Is it my job to look good?"  And here's my answer:  Yes.  Yes, it's part of my job to look good.  Does that surprise you?  Honestly it kind of surprised me.  I didn't initially think that, but the more I thought through it the more I realized that I do believe that it's my job to look good.  Here's why:

1.  When I say "look good" I don't mean super model, reality star look good.  That's all fake.  No one really looks like that in real life.  I mean look healthy, look like I care about myself, look like I put some effort into my appearance.  If I'm eating healthy and working out then I'm going to look good.  That means I'm doing the work.  I'm being the best me, the best wife, the best mom I can be and that's my job.

2.  As my job to be the best wife to my husband I need to look good.  I know that may send some people into a tizzy, but just wait and hear me out.  I need to look good to my husband not anyone else.  My husband tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful right now.  I believe him.  I believe that he thinks I'm beautiful.  But...he also knows how hard I'm trying to lose weight and the work that I put into my appearance.  If I was sitting around, not exercising, not eating healthy food and filling my body with crap, he would not find that attractive.  I have absolutely no doubt that he would still love me, but he wouldn't find me attractive and I don't blame him.  I wouldn't find it attractive if he just sat around putting on the pounds.  I want him to love the way I look and he needs to.  I want him to be happy when he looks at me.  I love the book of the Bible, Song of Solomon.  I want my husband to look at me the way the author looks at his bride in chapter 4 (read's racey stuff).  It's my job to give him something pleasing to look at.

3.  When my children see me I want them to see a strong, healthy woman that takes care of herself and tries to use the abilities that God has given me to the best that I can.  I don't want them to see a woman that is lazy and disrespects the health that God has blessed her with.  I want them to grow into men that strive to be healthy and fit men and I want them to look for women that to be their wives that do the same.  So, it's my job to look good because I owe it to my children to set an example for them of how to take care of themselves.

I may not get paid to be on tv and show off my body to the world (thank goodness), but there are people that look at me and it's my job to look good for them.  It's also my job to look good for myself.  I should be able to take pride in how I look.  I'll never look like the women on tv that are filled up with fake stuff and nipped and tucked so they don't look like what God made them to look like.  BUT, I can look like the best me that I am.  I can strive for it everyday.

No more comparisons. Just comparing me to me. The me I am right now to the me I know that I can be with hard work and determination.

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